How To...Live Your Best Life
As I’m growing through 2018, I firmly believe that this is the year for us to live our absolute best lives! One of the biggest goals I have is to not only say but share HOW to make positive changes to your life. Today I want to share some of the things I’ve learned in order to create the best life for myself…and in all honesty it’s going to be a bit of a reminder for myself as well!
1. Stop giving weight to the opinions of others
The opinions of others is absolutely and positively none of your business, yet we give so much importance to it on a regular basis. Have you ever stopped to think why you care about the opinions of others so much? We have to work towards blocking out the nay-sayers, critics, haters, whomever and else…even if your biggest critic is yourself. The hardest part of listening to the criticisms of others is that it becomes our inner voice eventually, but I’m challenging you to carefully evaluate whether it deserves to be allowed to enter your mind and take residence. (“I think…therefore I am”…your thoughts matter!)
Once you stop placing so much importance on the opinions of others, you’ll experience a new sense of freedom. There’s a weight lifted off your shoulders when you come to learn that you are not limited to the ideas of others. Sometimes you have to keep certain ideas away from certain people if they have a history of being a Negative Nancy. The people you seek feedback from and are held accountable to should be people who will give you honest, encouraging, and necessary feedback. Create a supportive team around you who isn’t afraid to tell you the truth, but won’t become a dream killer with constant lists of why something won’t work. For me…I need someone who isn’t going to convince me not to do something, but will help me think through HOW to get the thing done!
2. Determine what your “best life” looks like
Your best life is going to look very different from the best life of someone else, and getting to know what you want out of life is critical for living your best life. If you try to accomplish all that society (or even family) determines you should accomplish and then try to achieve your dreams…you will find yourself overwhelmed. Determine for yourself what it is important and what you’d like to accomplish for yourself and take joy in that! Sometimes you’ll have to pat yourself on the back, and sometimes those around you won’t understand…but the intrinsic joy you’ll receive is worth it.
Get clear about what YOU want in life and begin to work towards that. Do not allow others to determine what’s important in your life or how you should go about accomplish your goals. So many people will try to tell you how to do something, but do some background checks before you accept their advice. If they haven’t accomplished what you’re trying to accomplish…how can they tell you how to do it. You wouldn’t take relationship advice from someone with a string of failed relationships or a lack of relationships in general. You wouldn’t take fitness advice from someone significantly overweight. You wouldn’t take law advice from a doctor. So why are you allowing people who’ve never done what you’re trying to do tell you how to do it? They don’t know!
3. Where do I start?
Okay…so now we know what we want to accomplish in life right? But the next question becomes where do we begin? There are a few ways you can go about accomplishing your best life…but the absolute step 1 is creating a game plan that works for you! In order to be successful you have to a plan of action that you must hold yourself accountable to. “If you fail to plan…you are planning to fail”.
You have to evaluate which of your goals and understand which are most important in order to create a plan of attack. Far too often we allow an overwhelming amount of goals stop us from making any progress on those goals. Determine which goals is your biggest pain point and begin making progress towards that goal and when you begin seeing results it will inspire progress towards your other goals.
4. Actions speak louder than words
I can determine what is important to you based on what your actions tell me is important…not what your words say. So many times I hear people tell me what they want to accomplish and what their goals are, but what I want to know is what are you doing about it? For example, if you’d asked me what my fitness goals are for this year I would be able to tell you…but I recently had to accept that I had not made those goals a priority. Yes I wanted to get in shape, but I wasn’t working towards those goals in any way. Well it’s never too late to start over again…and again if necessary.
Progress is a slow process, so don’t get frustrated if you don’t see immediate results. If you work towards improving your life, you will look back one day and see how far you’ve come. Just this morning I was looking back on what’s happened in my life and where I was literally a year ago. This time last year I was severely depressed, couldn’t possibly see things getting any better, mourning the loss of my twin sons. But on my half birthday (yes I celebrate half birthdays lol) in April I decided that I deserved to be happy and began to make conscious and intentional efforts towards improving my life.
Fast forward 11 months later, and I’m enjoying life and finding balance and working towards the very things I’ve always wanted. Most importantly I’m at a place where I’m able to provide inspiration to others and serve as a Motivational Speaker and Development Coach. And one of my biggest accomplishments so far…I’m a published author! Whatever your best life is for you…determine in your heart and make a plan to go after it. Whatever makes you happy…go after that and work towards it daily.
5. Be unapologetically and perfectly imperfect
At the end of the day, you’re responsible for your life and you have to be happy with the life you are living. The world is going to judge you regardless of what you’re doing…you might as well do what makes you happy! For most (myself included) the judgement of family is the hardest to overlook, but I had to realize that I have to be happy with my life not them. If they’re happy with my life also then it’s an added bonus.
There will be times when you drop the ball and that is absolutely okay, just learn the lessons and forgive yourself for it. You should be willing to own your flaws and accept your truth 100% regardless of how difficult that may be. Everyone has their past, everyone has their struggles, don’t be so hard on yourself for yours!