How To...Live A Happier Life

For years I desired to live a happier life than I was living at that time and I couldn’t figure out how to just “be happy”. The most frustrating part was the response of others that imply that I was somehow choosing to be unhappy with my life as if it were a simple choice. If you’ve ever felt frustrated in life and didn’t know where to begin, this may be the blog for you. I have finally figured out the secret to living a happier life, and I want to share that with you toady.

1. Figure out what you want

            Crazy enough this is really where it begins. You have to take the time to get to know what you enjoy, what makes you happy, and what you want out of life. You’d be surprised how often we’re walking around through life not really knowing what we want or what we enjoy. Because we’re social creatures a lot of times we conform or adjust what we want to fit the ideas of those we love. After my major breakup in 2014, it was the first time in my “grown” adult life that I was completely single and in a new town by myself. I had to take the time to truly understand what it was that I enjoyed and experience the things I wanted to experience. During the next few months following I took the initiative to do exactly what I wanted to do and even learned some things I didn’t enjoy.

2. Whatever’s good for your soul…do that!

            This is an important step in experiencing a happier life. Do not allow anyone to stop you from doing exactly what you want, because you deserve to do just that. If what you want doesn’t cause harm to others and your responsibilities are taken care of, why shouldn’t you do so? We have to get into the habit of listening to our souls and understanding what it is we desire doing. A lot of times fear will keep us from doing some of the very things that are good for our soul, but it shouldn’t! For me, that thing was traveling! I’ve been saying for years that I wanted to travel more and I made the decision to stop allowing excuses as to why I couldn’t and decided to just do it. April 2017 I finally made the decision that even if it was a low budget trip, I had to go by myself,  and I had to make my trip brief (because hotels are expensive lol) I was going to go!

3. Surround yourself by the right people

            One thing I’ve learned is that it’s absolutely critical to be sure the correct people are connected to you. There is nothing worse than having the wrong energy connected to you or the wrong people speaking into your life. A lot of times we hold onto relationships and connections simply because we’re afraid to “burn bridges” but if that bridge is leading you into a toxic direction or is slowing you down why shouldn’t you? The people you are connected to can either push you towards or keep you from your greatest purpose.

            Sometimes you have to go through a life purge and clean out some of the relational clutter from your life. This can be toxic friendships, past relationships you’re still in communication with, or even some extremely toxic family relationships. You cannot hold onto relationships simply because that person has always been in your life. If they aren’t currently contributing to your purpose, they may need to repositioned in your life. There’s a way to politely burn the bridge, but you can’t get bogged down holding onto relationships that aren’t benefiting you in it’s current state.

4. Family first!

            Yes I realized I said “family first” and it’s the 4th bullet point…You’re just going to have to roll with me on this one. Family is an important part of what makes me happy and if you feel the same carve out time to spend with your family. Make family time a priority and don’t allow the responsibilities of life to interfere with spending time with the ones you love.

            It is easy to allow the distractions of work to bring you away from your family, trust me I get it. But there is also a thing called balance, and I challenge you to find that in your life because it will bring about a level of peace that makes the sacrifice worth it in the end. You can’t work so hard trying to provide for a family that you barely have time to see them or spend time with them. I’m not saying don’t provide for your responsibilities, but most children want time with their family members more than anything. Quality time is something you can’t get back.

5. Reclaim your time!

            There comes a time when you need to stop giving your time away to people and activities that do not benefit your purpose or your happiness. When you find the freedom of saying “no” you will begin to see how much time you have available for the things you want to do. So often we agree to doing things we have zero desire to do simply because we feel bad about saying “no”. I’m challenging you to find a nice way to say “no” to things you have no interest in doing overall or something you don’t have the availability to do. Prioritize your time and needs above others and ensure that you’re taken care of first. You’ll be able to have more energy to give to others if you ensure your needs are taken care of first. Additionally you’ll want to do the things your saying yes to and you’ll start to find peace with the things you’re saying no to.

*Bonus*

            Stop being afraid of other’s judgment and opinions over your life. What other people think of you is none of your business, so learn to mind your business and stop consuming your energy on things you can’t control. Be careful not to allow the negative things people say about you to become internal self-talk that you repeat to yourself on a subconscious level in your mind. The more you begin to walk in the most authentic version of yourself, the closer you will get to finding the freedom and peace in being exactly who you are.