How To...Be You!

How To…Be You!


So this may seem like an odd topic to discuss but I think it’s worth digging into! No I can’t give you specifics on how to be yourself…but I can provide guidance and steps towards discovering and becoming exactly who you were meant to become. It’s so easy to become like those we admire in this world and become to implement similar practices of those we deem successful, but it’s important that even while learning from others we maintain our own being! So during today’s #ThoughtfulThursday it’s my goal to share some steps on how to…be you! 


1.     Discover who you are

The very first thing you’re going to have to do is take a deep dive into who you are as a human. Not who you want to be, not who you think you should be, not who your parents want you to be, and certainly not who pop culture tells you it’s cool to be. You are going to have to get very clear about what makes you happy, what do you genuinely enjoy, what would you do if no one was around to judge, what would you become if you could be anything in this world, what do you want to accomplish in this world…who are you? Answering these questions may take some time, but I promise you it’s absolutely worth it in the end!

In order to get a true answer to some of these questions, you are going to have to shut out the distractions of the world. Lock yourself in a room without tv, phones, music, internet, social media, or any other distraction. Spend some true alone time (which when was the last time you had some alone time?) and challenge yourself to dig deep into the depth of your soul. I have done this and it was the state of discovering my purpose. This alone time allowed me to process some internal issues I’d been brushing past, it forced me to face my reality, and allowed me to evaluate my areas of improvement. I’m not saying you have to do this all the time, but you should do it for as many times as needed until you walk away feeling clear. 


2.     Embrace your flaws

I think by this point we all know that none of us are perfect, but how often do we take the time to face our flaws head on? In the busyness of life I think the last thing we take the time to think about is how flawed we are. In fact, if you don’t have regular alone time…you probably don’t think about it at all. But that’s the important part of having a self-care routine because it allows you to address your realities in a healthy way without masking it. It’s going to feel very uncomfortable at first, but eventually you will begin to look forward to that time to deal with everything you’ve had to face. 

I can honestly say that I used to hate being alone, to the extent that I would find ways to fill my space with the company of others with zero regard for their toxicity. Ultimately that’s not healthy and will not be sustainable long term because it will eventually force you to deal with it. “Not everything that is faced can be changed…and nothing can be changed until it’s faced.” – Lucille Ball 


3.     Pursue your purpose

One of the most rewarding parts about learning to be yourself is discovering and pursuing your purpose. I promise the moment you find the reason you were placed on this earth…there becomes a magnetic pull that you can’t help but gravitate towards. The moment I realized my purpose in life, it was as if a light bulb suddenly turned on lighting up a very dark room. Since that moment (despite even my best efforts) I have worked tirelessly towards pursuing purpose because I quite literally cannot help it. Even when I’m tired, even when I’m having a bad day, even when I’m trying to take a day off, and even when I don’t “feel” like it…it’s almost as if I have no choice but to pursue my purpose. 

The unfortunate reality is that so many people travel through life not knowing why they’re here in this world. I was one of them for 25+ years…and if you are included in that group it’s time for some deep reflection. Take the time to really get an understanding about what’s important to you, what are you good at, and what does this world need…the combination of those 3 answers is where purpose lives. Once you discover your purpose, chase after it fiercely!


4.     Tune out distractions

Sometimes those around us are more influential than we give them credit for…for example have you ever started talking and heard your mother start speaking? I can’t imagine I’m the only one. But here’s what you have to be careful for…you have to be sure that your inner thoughts belong to you and haven’t been rewritten by those around you. *TANGENT* when you’re in the lives of any children (even if they’re not your own) please be careful what you say to them because that will eventually become their inner thoughts. 

In the moments when my head is the cloudiest, I find the need to unplug from the world and allow alone time to do it’s job, provide clarity. Those are the times when I need to put my phone on airplane mode, log off social media, and really just worry about myself for a bit. Those are the days when I receive the most clarity and I’m reminded of what I’m supposed to be doing and why. I want to remind you that God doesn’t operate in the world of confusion, so if you’re confused about a particular area of life…He’s either trying to get your attention or He’s not involved in it. 


5.     Do what makes you happy!

If you don’t know what makes you happy, I challenge you to revisit the conversation we had during the 1ststep! You have to know what makes you happy (short and long term) before you can experience genuine happiness in this world. And if you don’t know how to make yourself happy, I assure you that no one else will be able to do so either. I present you with this caution of chasing after the short term happiness at the risk of losing your long term happiness. Achieving your goals won’t always allow for short term pleasure, but finding that balance is going to be the most efficient thing you can do. “Whatever’s good for your soul…do that!”