How to…Be Transparent

            One of the things I value most is a spirit of transparency, but I realize that’s not everyone’s story. I’m writing this blog today to challenge you to move closer towards embracing your truth fully owning your true story. Everyone has a story and that story molds us into the person we are, but I believe the reason for our individual stories is to share with others and show them how to overcome similar issues. If we fail to share our story with others, we create an environment where sharing becomes risky and we’re left feeling like we’re the only one suffering with this particular issue.

1. Own your truth

            The very first step in being transparent is learning to own your truth and refusing to concern yourself with the judgment of others. I believe the main reason we hide our truths is the fear of what others may think of us if we were truly honest. When you begin to fully own your truth, no one can hold it against you because you’ve already made peace with it. Once you decide to accept your past (good or bad…flaws and all) the judgment of others won’t be much concern to you. Here’s a little tip about judgment, judgmental people are going to judge you either way so spend your energy focusing on living your best life.

2. Learn the lesson

            Everything you’ve ever experienced in life is meant to teach you something, but you have to be willing to tap into that lesson so that you can move on. The funny thing about life, if you refuse to learn the lesson the test will just continue to repeat itself. For me it’s hard to regret things in life, because I view everything as a life lesson that shaped me to be a better person. Knowing what I know now, would I have done some things differently? Yes! But that’s where growth and development come into play. Once you begin to learn the lessons life has come to teach you, the “mistakes” become a little less embarrassing because they’ve become battle scars.

3. Share your story

            The very first time you’re truly honest with someone may seem a little scary, but I’m challenging you to take that risk. You may find that you’re talking to someone who’s struggling with similar issues, have been where you are, or need to hear how you made it through. Every time I’ve taken the risk and shared openly with someone, either they have advice I needed or I had advice they needed. One of the hardest things for me to share was my struggles with miscarriage(s), but consistently what I found was how many people around me suffered silently of the same issue.

4. Be honest

            In our society it’s practically encouraged to highlight the good you’re doing, and the struggles you may be dealing with should be kept private. This mindset is only made worse by social media, a platform where people you haven’t seen in years (or at all) highlight the good that’s allegedly happening in their lives and people are scrutinized or silenced when they share their struggles. I want you to begin to fight the notation that you can’t be honest with the struggles you may be facing, because I promise there’s someone else with the same struggles but feels they’re going through it alone.

5. Allow others to be transparent

            Just as you deserve to be transparent and share your story openly, so do others around you. I challenge you to fight your natural urge to silence, scrutinize, or shun someone for openly expressing what they’re suffering through. Just as we celebrate and offer congratulations to the positive sharing, lets make sure we’re offering condolences and comfort to those sharing their struggles. Allow others to express themselves however they see fit, and if you choose to respond please do so with compassion and understanding.


*Bonus* Only God can judge

            There has to reach a point where you stop caring about the judgment of others, because they do not have a heaven or hell to place you in. People are going to judge you no matter what, but that doesn’t mean that you have to give so much weight to the judgment of others. Once I came to the realization that I wouldn’t be able to please everyone, I began focusing my energy on pleasing myself. I began to accept the quote “Whatever’s good for your soul…do that” as my guiding mantra in life, and that changed everything for me!